Today I want to talk about my first D&D character: Bobble.
Well, actually first thing I should mention is my relationship with D&D itself. In high school I had many chances to play but never did. The first reason is complete bullshit: I assumed I was too good for the game. I spent all my free time drawing anime OCs, writing fanfics or learning Japanese in high school, I was aware of how nerdy I truly was and didn't think adding another interest like D&D would be beneficial to my already abysmal social status. The second reason was far more justified. I am extremely dyslexic and I have learning issues when it came to math. I was so terrible in both these subjects that I had tutors for both during school time and after, nothing really helped. I still struggle with reading certain words and I rarely do math without a calculator.
These learning problems affected my confidence greatly, I remember crying in school and at home when my tutors, teachers and parents tried to help me grasp these concepts, because I felt like I was just wasting everyone's time and patience. Why couldn't I just do it? Why can't I remember these basic things my other classmates have no trouble with? Thinking about my school times brings a tear to my eye because I really hid my pain from my close friends, worried of being teased, and spent years thinking I could never be a hirable worker because I lacked basic requirements for any adult job: math, reading and writing. Clearly I was being overly dramatic and letting my anxiety get the best of me. I feel so bad for younger me, who spent years just worrying over something that isn't that big of a deal because even though I mess up from time to time, I always try to be better.
This brings me back to the subject of TTRPG, I had a very basic understanding of D&D, and when I was told about character sheets and how simple math was a big part of the game - I got scared. Here I was, already a unpopular nerd that only had a handful of friends, what if they realized I couldn't pronounce some oddly-written fantasy words? What if I took too long calculating my character's damage? Would they make fun of me or reject me? I honestly couldn't take the risk. So I never played.
After my dear friend @Oenvy_us kept telling me to watch Critical Role, I finally caved and fell in love almost instantly. I was able to see how a mentally mature and nurturing table can be run. I learned about programs like D&D Beyond were created to be helpful to players like me. Now I felt like I deprived my younger self of so much imagination. In set out to correct this. To avenge my younger self.
Here and there I got the chance to play a few short lived/one shot D&D campaigns, but I played pre-made characters during these games so I never got attached to them. It's been hard to find a long game to jump into out here since so many campaigns have been going on for years or made up of people I didn't know well enough to ask to join.
If there is one small highlight to 2020 it would be the widespread use of zoom, which is how I am now able to play my first real game with my dear friend @luastardust and the lovely humans @anjakeister, @makirollofc, @kimono_jones, @findingtimo. All of these people have made my first game such a wonderful learning experience in a judgement free environment. Do I mess up? Heck yeah, all the time, and that's okay. With my group I never feel less than, judged or scared to make a mistake. I am truly blessed to have found a group of people who are excited to play with in a magical world of our creation. Through this campaign, I've made peace with my short comings and decided I can live beside my faults as long as I'm trying to be better.
Enough backstory, let's talk OC's:
Bobble is a character I created to be a total disaster. Bobble is a half orc who comes from a small orc village in which she was loved by many. As a older sister, she took care of her younger sister Aja when their parents died. While the other villagers where kind and helpful when the girls needed it, it didn't stay this way for long. Aja got deathly sick, and medicine was expensive. Bobble turned to gambling and thievery to pay for the treatments, and although her sister got well, by this time Bobble's debts were too high to ever repay. Having ruined her reputation in her hometown, Bobble ventured out to spare her sister the embarrassment of being linked to a thief and carrying the burden of debt. Now, Bobble sends money home in unmarked parcels hoping to repay any past deeds and has adopted the name Bobble, it was a nickname Aja gave to her older sister and now it's the only thing that keeps her tied to her past.
(This Image is what I imagine Bobble looks like - gold tooth and all!)
I think one of my biggest fears is failing and being alone, so I created a character who is all this and more. I am hoping it helps me deal with my fears head on because despite all the shortcomings Bobble has, she is still trying to be better.